When night falls, the bird come home with their tiredness. But there
is sick man who keep suffering from his illness. He touch his abdomen and keep
muttering the quran verses, hope the verses could calm his illness. He keeps doing
that, and merely his illness reducing a little bit. While keeping withstand
with all those sickness, he stares at the ceiling, wishing a fairy pop out from
them and will erase his pain with one flick of the wand. He keeps staring the
ceiling, and then, one by one the face of people he love the most come in his
minds. He cried without sound, his eyes teary without any command. He closes
his eyes so that the face can comes once again, clearly, vividly and boldly. He
keeps close his eyes. In a very phase of time. The first glimpse of the face is
the girl he love the most in the world. He falls in love at the first sight
with her. He meets her somewhere, he doesn’t remember where, and voila! since
then those girl’s face decorate his minds all the time. Like glue. Like ghost. Like
angels. Eleven second passed by, he talk to himself: “ohhh god, when you take
my life today, this evening, please tell her, the girl whom i love, that i love
her sincerely, from the deepest of my heart, from the bottom of my heart. She was
catching fire within my heart”. A pause. Second face appeared, his mother face
comes really beautifully. He cries again and again, he still remember the
promise that he needs to fulfill, he wants to make his mother happy, he wants to
see his mother face full of laughter, he wants his mother can see his son or
daughter. But it seems, those thought could not be fulfilled. He is now in a
foreign land. He can not tell his mother that he is severely sick, he can not
say bad thing about himself. He wants that his mother just knowing his son
always happy in a foreign land, though he is still young. He has alot of those
heavy thought. He is sad when he remember the old woman become beggar in the
corner of street, old women who become war victim who lose her face, her
husband, her son and religion rule trapped her begging for a bite of bread in the
middle of hot dessert in Afghanistan. Remembering those story of poor women,
the man promise to himself that he will keep his mother in peace, happy and
prosperous. Another pause. He sees his sisters and brothers, he remembers how
he ate oranges and divided it into five, one for him, two for his sisters and
his brothers. He could remember how they laugh together in the bench in front
of the house. How they eat everything together, in the sadness and happiness. How
they desperated when their father leave them forever and maybe in a couple
minute, he will join his father in the heaven. He finally could take care of
his father. Actually, he was so sad when he could not escort his father to the
samatary, he felt he is bad son. He hit himself for eleven days, crying like
crazy, doing impulsive things that he could not imagine. And now is the time he
redeems all his wrongness. He felt wrong, though many people said that what he
did not wrong, he just unfortunate could not escort his father. But, his
regretness rooted in his heart, painful and poignant. Pause. He sees his best friend,
Kenthir. He already befriended with him for about six or seven years. He
met him in the university. He is a junior in english department. He is smart
and digest everything he read. All girls admires him. He guessed if there is no
Kenthir in his life. His life would totally plain. Pause. The pain come
again, like a strike of a bowling ball. This pain gets sick and sick. His breath
slowly getting fast, his vision slowly getting blurred. He tries to straight
his minds, but its impossible. Sick man never gets his mind straighten. He holds
his blanket, try to breath normal. But it failed. In a flash, the man saw all
the faces he saw before. And at the same time, the sick man finally pass out..
he felt the death already hug him. In fact, the death angel just give him a
time out.
Avala.20.6.2013.